life keeps on throwing one situation after the other which u feel u will not be able to handle...

comes a time when u feel "I've had enough!" i wont be able to take more...

comes a time when u feel like just giving in...

comes a time when u actually want to escape from the situation.. but escape is not possible!

comes a time when u feel hopeless, dejected (by HIM), unloved, uncared for...

comes a time when all your faith shatters to pieces...

comes a time when u feel u never exsisted (coz what do u do if your exsistence in itself is giving pain???)...

comes a time when u want to ask the creator, that why did HE create u - (only to take the sufferings???)...

comes a time when u start feeling jealous (not in my nature to feel jealous, so its a BIG thing for me to get those vibes)...

comes a time when u actually feel the tremble inside u - (shivering with fear thinking "Now what to do"???)...

THEN... HE INTERVENES...

he intervenes, not by magically finishing all your problems...

not by swaying HIS magic wand and making you happy again... beaming with happiness...

not by making u die and releiving you of all this pain...

BUT... BY GIVING YOU THE STRENGTH...

by giving you the strength HE shows that HE cares...

by making you tough he shows that though HE has given you the problem, but HE is there - WITH U... to GUIDE you through it...

by providing you the strength HE acts as your father... "in the name of the father...." (just a reminder of the prayer i say daily)...

BUT oh my lord... though i know u r there with me to guide me, u r seeing i sail through this unhurt... but still it hurts my lord!

It hurts when i feel you are care for me less and more for others... i feel sad that my lord u did not pay heed to my prayers...

Oh lord... i have been your dutiful child... not hurt anyone intentionally.. taken care of fellow beings as my own brothers n sisters... kept others' happiness above mine - in many instances even if it cut my heart! still my lord.. i listened to my heart and i did what i felt was desired by those i loved - without even considering my self interest! not even mentioned my pain n sorrow to anyone!

i know its not right to ask anything in return for what one has done.. but my lord.. was it too much if i asked health for my own child??? he is a small kid my lord! ur child too!!! couldnt he have been spared???

I have full trust and faith in YOU! yesterday i felt weak... i cried... cried hopelessly... thinking - Now what? But i know YOU are there.. there to guide me.. there to protect my child...

Show me the way... guide me through this! MAKE ME TOUGH! give me the strength... I need you ONLY YOU my lord to sail out of these troubled waters!!!

I wish my child comes out hale and hearty out of this situation.... AMEN!

Im keeping up my faith GOD... "whatever happens is for the good"! and that you yourself will provide me the strength to fight it out! You will make me tough now that you have made the going tough!!!

Freedom of nations from foreign rule...

Freedom of socitey from caste system... from prejudices...

Freedom of a bride from greedy (for dowry) in laws...

Freedom of a child from child labour...

Freedom of someone in captivity...

But for me freedom right now would mean small little things...

Freedom to enjoy music of my own choice...

Freedom to worship my Baba...

Freedom to enjoy my morning cup of tea in peace...

Freedom to sit back n relax for a while...

Freedom to just let go n be myself once in a while...

Freedom to sometimes say things "without thinking"

Freedom to read what i want to...

Freedom to dance, to sing...

Freedom from always thinking about others and to think of myself once in a while...

And Freedom to just be alone.. to enjoy solitude once in while!

Does that mean i am not living my life??? Maybe yes!

But its true that i dont freely do any of the above mentioned...

I want to be FREE!!! I want my FREEDOM!!!

when the going is tough, what you need is love and support from people around you... from family, from friends.. but what if somebody close to you is not favourable to you? how do you change that?

i am tired! tired of constantly fighting the enemy within (i mean someone close here)! these petty politics is too disheartening and sucks energy and happiness.. moreso for a person like me who is so straightforward and true!

well, life is not always a bed of roses.. i knw.. but what when roses r all plucked and what you r left with is just thorns??? each time u try to deal with it, ur hand bleeds... ur heart renders a cry... u wish to die.. but that also doesnt come! u r deprived of that peace as well.. u r left alone n unattended to fight.. fight n survive...

oh lord... bless your children with generous heart and the ability to spread happiness... amen!

some call them foolish, unrealistic and also absurd! but i wish i could have that foolishness, absurdity in my life too! i wish i could have had a fairy tale romance as in a MB.

the amount of love that you see in those few hundreds pages are hard to find in your entire life! yes i know i may be making very little sense writing this... but can't we be a little senseless at times in life?

if life bcomes very tuff, you at times want to escape it! right now i want to do the same! well...

another good thing which i like about MBs is that the good always comes out to be victorious! the vampish characters see a great fall and the good ones have a happy life ever after!

well... these were just thoughts of a troubled mind. if im not making sense then fine! coz i didnt want to make sense in the first place... :)

My question is... what is so special about birthdays? Why only on birthdays we think about making people happy? Can't we try little bit everyday for peopel we love, rather than doing everything on birthdays?! Can't we as friends, make a call, send a sms, do something special for our friends on days other than birthdays? Cant we as a spouse plan something special for our other half on days other than birthdays?

Answer is obviously YES! We can! But again the same answer which is given to maximum problems of today's times... TIME! Shortage of time...

Well... Just my thoughts on this day - My Birthday!

Why has God placed me in this situation I really fail to understand! And if HE had to place me in this situation, couldnt he have made me cruel? Couldnt HE have given me a nature where I could have been least bothered about others' feelings and thoughts?

Without any fault of mine I sometimes feel that just my existence is hurting others! It would have been easy for me to be at a position where I would have been the one hurt! But when your existnce itself is causing pain, then what to do?

Oh Lord! You yourself have created this situation, and you only know the way out! Please guide me!

Still we allow it to rule over us.

Anger as an emotion, makes you do and say things which you would never in a normal state. It transforms you into a totally different person. It makes you hurt those whom you love and care about. It makes you a slave and you start behaving like a puppet...dancing to its tunes! The flames of anger engulfs you and you feel hatred oozing out of you... It becomes too much to handle and at times you feel like hurting your own self. The words said in anger leave deep scars as would nails on wall or wood. They are there to be; so are the scars!!!

An angry person starts looking ugly. There is so much of neagtive energy flowing out that everything around starts suffocating you to the extent of agony! One wants to practice control and wants to refrain self from saying derogratory things to the other, but fail to do so! Anger acts like an evil master, making you dance to its tunes...

Practising control over anger through meditation and yoga are the only ways to protect yourself from letting be ruled by this destructive emotion. Don't let the devil in you rise by being angry! What you'll say and do in anger will be regretted later...

Why these simple words of wisdom just fail to utter out? At times brain stops functioning. All logic, reasoning desert you and you start behaving like a child. Thats when you are angry! You very well know that anger is harmful for you but still you keep on swaying in anger and act like a slave to emotions!

Attached to a relationship are other relations who need you. They also hold you back! Then moral obligations act as chain. Society is another factor which deters you to act ruled by your heart! But the at the end of the day, do morals, society or even the other relations come forward and provide you relief? NO!

No??? So should one really give importance to them?

Please grant me,

The courage to change the things I can,

The serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

And...

The Wisdom to know the difference! "

How true...

Many a times my mind wander, many a times, when I am among a crowd, I feel that I am Alone!!!

Company doesnt just mean physical presence of people around you, but also a mental compatibility which is so rare to find!

Often, sitting among people we get aloof; what is said, what is being done; gets totally irrelevant for us!

Those with whom you spend your life, those, who in others' eyes are everything for you, suddenly seem as aliens!

It seems as if you are all alone, and nobody understands you, your feelings! This problem is getting more and more aggravated because of pressures of modern life!

We all know the causes of this; we also do know the solutions! We have often talked about being more sensitive to human feelings, not to run after money and material goods! But do we really follow them???

Well, the feeling of loneliness is hard to deal with! It leaves you exhausted! Its leaves you feeling emotionally drained! And the irony is that when you are feeling lonely you actually don't crave for company (as in real physical terms)! What you look forward to is peace and bliss where your heart and mind can be balmed and soothed! You look forward to serenity of soul which can help you come to trems with yourself!!!